You’re reading How to Live—an inquiry into the psychological forces that shape us, and how to stop being run by them.
Through deep research, personal storytelling, and hard-won insight, I challenge the myth of normalcy and offer new ways to face old struggles.
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Ask These Questions to Change Your Mind.
I spent the entire day working on a piece about how often single, child-free people (often women) are excluded from the social life of couples.
Then, I convinced myself it was offensive, everyone would hate me, unsubscribe en masse, and send me spiteful emails.
I have slipped into the stream of cognitive distortion.
Instead of sharing the piece I've spent nine hours writing, I am sending you a worksheet that targets irrational thoughts. This worksheet, based on a concept from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy called cognitively restructuring, helps people identify and change unhelpful thoughts using a method known as Socratic Questioning.
Perhaps I’ll return to the other piece and send it next week.
Until then, it’s time to interrogate ourselves and see if we can begin seeing things objectively.
And by “we”…
(I mean me).
I’m also sharing the excellent resource where I found this worksheet. It’s one therapists use, now at your fingertips (at the bottom).
THE RESOURCE!
And more on S, here:
What a day.
Until next week, I will remain…
Amanda
P.S. Thank you for reading! This newsletter is my passion and livelihood; it thrives because of readers like you. If you've found solace, wisdom or insight here, please consider upgrading, and if you think a friend or family member could benefit, please feel free to share. Every bit helps, and I’m deeply grateful for your support. 💙
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Quick note: Nope, I’m not a therapist—just someone who spent 25 years with undiagnosed panic disorder and 23 years in therapy. How to Live distills what I’ve learned through lived experience, therapy, and obsessive research—so you can skip the unnecessary suffering and better understand yourself.
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