Past posts live here. Come 👋🏼 at me on FB, IG, Threads & Bluesky

Happy Wednesday, friend!

You are reading The How to Live Newsletter: Your weekly guide offering insights from psychology to help you navigate life’s challenges, one Wednesday at a time.

Upgrade to access all posts and the entire archive.

On the Subtle Difference Between Feeling and Emotion: A Lesson in Self-Awareness.

Emotions have always gotten a bad rap.

They’re like New Jersey to native New Yorkers: You know it exists, but don’t want to go there. Sure, there’s beauty in New Jersey, but you have to spend time there to find it.

Expressing emotions, even the positive ones, can earn you some eye rolls. Those who can’t contain their joy and pride are often accused of earnestness, or worse, sentimentality, as if gushing weakens us as people.

But it’s the bleaker emotions I’m here to talk about because those scare us even more. Despite how much we think we understand our interior universe, we often confuse emotions with feelings, but they are not the same thing, and knowing the difference might change your life.

The often overwhelming shadows that emotions cast inside our bodies, darkening what was light just seconds earlier, are so uncomfortable and frightening that we try to avoid feeling the sensations.

We’re so adept at dodging out of discomfort’s way that we spend years hiding our emotions, not just from other people, but from ourselves.

Yet, this withholding from ourselves and one another only exacerbates our feelings of loneliness and alienation. Being honest about our interior world and the private struggle that comes with it can be terrifying.

Being truthful means bracing ourselves for the sickening backsplash of reality rising in our throats, reminding us that we exist in an unresolved uncertainty—who wants that?

But what is emotion? Why are we so reticent about its expression? And how is emotion different from a feeling?

My most profound insights don't go in the free version—they're distilled from my 27 years in therapy, decades of independent study, and work as a mental health advocate. These deeper dives are reserved for readers committed to going deeper.

Unlock full access to read the entire piece.

Join How to Live