What Elmo Can Teach Us About Being Better Strangers

How one small question made a huge impact

Amanda Stern
February 07, 2024

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What Elmo Can Teach Us About Being Better Strangers

Elmo, one of the most beloved characters on Sesame Street, the long-running educational children's television program, is a furry red monster with a high-pitched voice and an infectious giggle.

And he might just be the global therapist this world needs.

Elmo!

A congruent little muppet, Elmo’s words and actions always match. He is open and unafraid to express his emotions and encourages others to do the same.

At 10:46 am EST, January 29th, 2024, Elmo asked the world a question on X (or Twitter, as we all still call it).

Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?
— Elmo (@elmo)
3:46 PM • Jan 29, 2024

Somehow, this question, posed by a beloved figure from many people’s childhoods, elicited a response that hammered home a singular point:

We are not okay.

The despair piled in quickly. And soon, his question amassed 20K responses.

But then, something else happened, and organizations let everyone know where they could find support.

The media latched on.

Elmo Asked an Innocuous Question

Elmo was not expecting it to open a yawning chasm of despair.

www.nytimes.com/2024/01/30/style/elmo-x-question.html

Elmo takes a turn as a therapist after asking, 'How is everybody doing?'

When the beloved red Muppet asked people how they were doing, they responded with honesty — and, in some cases, despair. Elmo replied to many messages with encouragement and empathy.

www.npr.org/2024/01/31/1228145269/elmo-therapist-asking-how-is-everybody-doing

I didn’t know anything about this until a friend in my writers’ group told me. When I looked, the question had amassed up to 208.9 million views.

Elmo has made mental health go viral.

The next day, Elmo posted this:

Wow! Elmo is glad he asked! Elmo learned that it is important to ask a friend how they are doing. Elmo will check in again soon, friends! Elmo loves you.❤️ #EmotionalWellBeing
— Elmo (@elmo)
5:10 PM • Jan 30, 2024

So, what can we learn from this?

Taking our cues from Elmo, we can be better strangers to one another. Let’s start by asking people how they are. The barista you see every morning, the waiter before you give your order, your dog walker, the substitute teacher—everyone.

Be the holding space for someone else’s pain. Should you feel uncomfortable or awkward when they respond that they’re actually terrible, thanks for asking. You can say, “I get that.”

That’s all you need to say.

Even if they say they’re fine, they will not forget that you asked.

When you ask someone how they are, they feel seen and cared about. No matter how they respond.

So, go out there and be a better stranger. Spread Elmo’s online virality to the streets. When people feel cared for, they treat people better. When we treat people better, we feel better.

On that note, how is everyone doing? Let me know in the comments.

Amanda

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VITAL INFO:

Nope, I am not a licensed therapist or medical professional. I am simply a person who struggled with undiagnosed mental health issues for over two decades and spent 23 years in therapy learning how to live. Now, I'm sharing the best of what I learned to spare others from needless suffering.

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