I lost a friend last week.

Paul La Farge was a brilliant and beautiful writer and the locus around which many orbited. The writing community is bereft, as are the hundreds of remarkable friends he managed to conjure over the course of his far too short lifetime.

I'm in a frenzy of constant distraction, worried about letting it sink in. Between savoring his old essays and pouring through his books, I'm also turning to an old standby for when I'm down and feel hopeless–dance.

Since I was a kid I've been mesmerized by dancing. It started with Tap. I took classes for a bit in 6th grade and still remember my routine. And then it broadened to incorporate all dance, pretty much.

But I was (and remain) dedicated to Gregory Hines. And I knew that he was influenced by the Nicholas Brothers, so I became obsessed with the Nicholas Brothers.

To this day, I watch this routine when I need a jolt of hope.

Of course, I feel guilty watching that without following it up with some Gregory. He used to dance with his brother, Maurice. Here they are as The Hines Brothers...

This piece makes me feel deeply melancholic, but it also reminds me of why we make art. I saw Yoann Bourgeois perform this live at BAM years ago and was moved to another plane of existence. You'll see.

Watch...

In 2001, I was dating someone who was cast in Cirque du Soleil's European tour of Saltimbanco three months into our romance. It was a two-year contract, and he asked me to come. I wasn't so sure about the guy, it had only been a few months, after all, but I was sure I wanted to come.

I went.

It was the best year of my life (he was let go before the second year).

Because we were part of Cirque du Soleil (I was considered his "wife," so I was automatically a part of the extended troupe), we were invited to do workshops with whatever show was in the same town. When we were in Spain, so was Mayumana. They're a dance and drum collective from Israel, and I loved their work. We arranged for a workshop swap.

It turned out I took to it quickly. After the workshop, one of the members casually mentioned having me train with them. I thought the idea of running away from one circus to join another would put a fun spin on the classic trope of running away to join the circus. But nope, I stayed put.

I found this compilation of some of the stuff they were doing back then. It's a bit cheesy now, but I still have a soft spot for it.

And you? Does dancing, or movement, inspire you? Which ones? Send me links!