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Dr. Chansky’s Rules for Ruminators

When I was writing Resolving the unresolvable: the difference between thinking and ruminating, I reached out to my friend Dr. Tamar Chansky, who is an anxiety expert, and founder of the Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA.to ask her advice on effectively managing or stopping rumination when you’re stuck in its teeth.

Below is a brief conversation and her tips.

AS: Could you please explain the difference between rumination and thinking?

TC: Rumination is the process of having repetitive thoughts that your mind gets you stuck on. They are usually about a negative situation—a past relationship or interaction, a mistake, or some unfinished or pending problem.

Different from thinking or processing, which can be productive, cathartic, and illuminating, ruminating causes distress because we are reliving only the direness of that situation. The focus on negativity makes us feel more hopeless and helpless. Yet, because the ruminative thoughts seem necessary, we keep doing it—even though it’s counterproductive and leaves us feeling more anxious and down.

AS: What’s the opposite of rumination?

TC: The opposite of rumination is deciding what to think about. When you choose your thoughts, you get somewhere, you get closure. When we’re thinking, thoughts wander freely through the mind; with rumination, we feel stuck inside thoughts that take up psychic space.

We don’t feel in charge of ourselves when we’re ruminating. Sometimes, people can feel that it’s helpful to ruminate about being responsible and analyzing a painful event or relationship to gain a better understanding. Still, the retreading feels miserable, preventing any progress on the matter.

It’s like ironing and re-ironing every wrinkle—what’s the point? People often describe their ruminations as an inability to stop their brain—they are overthinking without access to a brake. They are in overdrive and feel trapped in their head.

AS: What are some tips to move from rumination into productive thinking?

TC: The first step is to bring separation between you and the feeling that you need to attend to those ruminative thoughts. We may believe the rumination has a purpose, but spinning in place gets us nowhere.

Often, we know that it is counterproductive and anguishing, but the brain won’t let go, and we find ourselves in a loop.

Below, I recommend a two-part way to bring the emotion and importance of the thoughts down to size so that you can step back, get perspective, and begin to break free.

Step one helps with perspective, and step two helps with practical steps.

STEP ONE: CREATING SEPARATION

1. Label it. One of the most critical responses we can have in improving our mental health is accurately labeling what’s happening to us or what mode we are in. Practice “spotting” your rumination episodes and name them as follows: This is rumination. This helps bring awareness and mindfulness to what’s happening, and you can decide whether it’s useful.

My most profound insights don't go in the free version—they're distilled from my 27 years in therapy, decades of independent study, and work as a mental health advocate. These frameworks and perspectives are reserved for readers committed to going deeper.

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