When You KNOW You’re Right, You’re Probably Wrong.

You go to a party with a date, someone you’ve been seeing for a couple of months.

You like this person.

A lot.

This is your first party, and you’re feeling slightly anxious about whether or not they are socially well-adjusted.

You’re about to find out.

You know many people at this party, but you and your date get stuck talking to someone you cannot stand.

This person is, let’s face it, repugnant.

Every time you see them, they are always just a bit too drunk, too loud, and too close, spraying spittle from their big, wet, red popsicle lips.

Worst of all, they keep interrupting your new person’s sentences, finishing them on their behalf despite never getting it right.

“After half an hour, I realized—”

“That you should give up and go home!” interrupts the interrupter.

“No, I should probably call them to see if they’re okay.”

You’re mortified and can’t wait until the party is over so you and your date can have a post-mortem and dissect the grotesquery of Old Drunk Wet Lips.

The second you step into the elevator, you turn and profusely apologize to your new person about getting stuck with that absolute horror of a human when, much to your dismay, your person says—

“Oh, he wasn’t so bad.”

This, naturally, stops you in your tracks.

“What are you talking about?” you say. “That guy was the absolute worst person anyone gave birth to!”

“I thought he was sort of endearing.”

Now, either you can appreciate this aspect of your partner, or you can get defensive because HOW ON EARTH CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHO IS TOO BLIND TO SEE THE ABSOLUTE REPUGNANCE OF A REPUGNANT PERSON?

You know you’re right.

Obviously, you’re right.

Your taste in people is impeccable—in fact, your taste in everything is top-notch— and that person was a bottom-notch garbage monster.

Your new person is wrong, and now you are preoccupied with the idea that your partner is unaware of their error. Consequently, you feel compelled to spend the remainder of the evening convincing your date of their mistake so that you can align your perspectives and share the same understanding of reality.

Because, like you just said, you are right.

This moment of feeling objectively right about something subjective has a name, and we all, to one degree or another, suffer from it.

My most profound insights don't go in the free version—they're distilled from my 27 years in therapy, decades of independent study, and work as a mental health advocate. These frameworks and perspectives are reserved for readers committed to going deeper.

Unlock full access

Join How to Live