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Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham on the Self You Can't See
I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.
Two American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, were interested in interpersonal dynamics in group settings.
They understood that interactions between members are shaped by differing perceptions and wondered whether they could develop a tool to foster alignment among members and reveal their blindspots and differences.
They believed with the proper framework that they could help people be more effective at work and more authentic in life.
In 1955, they introduced what they called the βJohari Window Modelββa portmanteau of the first two syllables of their namesβa tool to bring strengths and weaknesses to the surface, foster self-awareness, interpersonal communication, engender sensitive feedback and bring mutual understanding to groups.
The Johari Window is an exercise that consists of four quadrants: the Open Area, the Hidden Area, the Blind Spot, and the Unknown, as well as a list of 55 adjectives from which a user is to choose five or six to describe themselves and others.

Image from Of Human Interaction by Joseph Luft
You can perform the exercise one-on-one or with a group.
Hereβs how it works:
From the list of the 55 adjectives, the subject chooses 5 or 6 adjectives to describe themselves.

The other members also choose 5 or 6 adjectives from the list to describe the subjectβs personality.
Everyone writes down their chosen words on their piece of paper.
When everyone is done, the friends share the words they chose.
If any adjective you chose to describe yourself overlaps with anyone else, those words all go into the box marked OPEN.

Image from Of Human Interaction by Joseph Luft
The words you chose that your friends didnβt go into the BLIND box. You can share during the process if you feel like it.

Image from Of Human Interaction by Joseph Luft
The words that your friends chose that you did not go into the HIDDEN box.

Image from Of Human Interaction by Joseph Luft
All the rest of the words from the list are UNKNOWN to you. Of course, they are within you somewhere; they just havenβt come out to play!

Image from Of Human Interaction by Joseph Luft
Once everything has been plotted, you can begin to ask each other questions about the adjectives, choose to disclose anything about yourself that you want, and if you do, it gets moved into the OPEN arena.
The more you talk and reveal about yourself, the more you become known, and the goal is to expand the OPEN quadrant for every person. This is the space where good communication takes place.
The model can be applied to any situation. To quote Luft himself from βOn Human Interactionβ
There is no inherent subject limitation. Gangs fighting, friends talking, executives leading, lovers lovingβany of these interactions can be viewed and conceptualized within the modelβs framework. In this sense, it is universally applicable
THE QUADRANTS, PANE BY PANE...
The four quadrants represent the total person in relation to other people. The basis for the division of the quadrants is awareness of behavior, feelings, and motivation. Sometimes awareness is shared, sometimes not. An act, a feeling, or a motive is assigned to a particular quadrant based on who knows about it. As awareness changes, the quadrant to which the psychological state is assigned changes.
The first window is OPEN AREA: This quadrant reflects what you know about yourself and what others know about you. It represents the self you put forward: how you behave, act, live, and what you openly believe. This box is the open book part of us, perhaps even the TMI (too much information) of us. This is the box we operate in when we are among other people. This box is all about how we come across to others.
The second window is BLIND ARENA: These are traits known to others but not to you. This might reflect personal habits, how you show up (or donβt) for others, idiosyncrasies, talents, strengths that you canβt see, and social quirks. This quadrant can shrink, and adjectives can move from this box into OPEN (which is the goal) by soliciting feedback from others.
This quadrant is used to figure out what other people think of you, so you can grow and mature if youβre open to hearing it. This can help you to become more well-rounded about how you come across. Perhaps youβre great at following through and didnβt know that before. Or, perhaps you will learn from others during this exercise that you have an off-putting edge.

Original art for How to Live by Edwina White
The third window is HIDDEN: This represents what we hide from others. Here, the information is known to you but not to others. Perhaps itβs too personal, or youβre not ready to share. This box includes secrets, past experiences, feelings, core beliefs, controversial values, ambitions, dreams, and opinions. Once the subject feels safe and trusts the other members, they might decide to reveal some of this hidden information, which would then move it to the OPEN arena.
The fourth window is UNKNOWN: This box reflects what is unknown to you and others. This area has the most potential for growth and self-discovery. The arena represents behavioral patterns from childhood, repressed or subconscious feelings, desires, and ambitions long buried, which now live below the depths.
THE IDEAL JOHARI WINDOW LOOKS LIKE THIS:

The purpose of the Johari Window is to reflect on what you know about yourself in a thoughtful way. It will teach you how you communicate with others and how you talk to yourself. Pay attention to the BLIND window and ask whether you resist showing aspects of yourself to others and why that might be.
Use the Johari Window to ask for constructive feedback if you want to grow.
Many people constantly ask themselves who they are, what they have to offer others, and where they fall short, yet, we donβt often get the opportunity to have others weigh in. This is the time.
The Johari Window will ask deep questions like, βHow do I let people know who I am?β and, βHow do I find out who other people are?β If youβre willing and open, it might lead you to the answers.
Itβs also a very effective tool for understanding your conscious and unconscious biases, which we all have.
But we donβt need to do the Johari Window exercise to derive its value. We can use the questions itβs asking in every situation.
You can increase your self-awareness and self-perception by constantly and consistently asking yourself these questions:
What do I know?
What do I not know?
What do other people know?
How do I find out what I donβt know?
We often believe we know the complete picture based on half the information. Think about how often we hear stories about breakupsβromantic or platonic. Usually, weβre privy to only one version, and we tend to accept it at face value without reminding ourselves that there is more we donβt know because there is more our friend doesnβt know.
There is always another point of view, and there are always blind spots and hidden details. When our loved ones confide in us, we believe themβas we should. At the same time, it would serve us well to remember that everyone has blind spots.
When we ask what we donβt know about ourselves, about every situation, the moods of others, or how we were treated and how we treat others, we expand our self-awareness and understanding of others.
What donβt you know?
If you're curious and want to read more, follow this link.
Until next week, I remain...

Amanda
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