Past posts live here. Come πŸ‘‹πŸΌ at me on FB, IG, Threads & Bluesky.

Past posts live here. Come πŸ‘‹πŸΌ at me on FB, IG, Threads, & Bluesky

You’re reading How to Liveβ€”an inquiry into the psychological forces that shape us, and how to stop being run by them.

Through deep research, personal storytelling, and hard-won insight, I challenge the myth of normalcy and offer new ways to face old struggles.

This work is reader-supported. If it speaks to you, consider a paid subscription for deeper insight, off-the-record writing, and seasonal in-person gatherings.

Today's HOW to LIVE is a guest post by Eddie Stern.

Eddie is a yoga teacher from NYC.

He runs a Hindu Temple in Soho, NYC, where he also teaches Yoga, writes, and engages in scientific research on Yoga. He has a Master’s in Science for Yoga Research from the Vivekananda Yoga University.

He lectures at medical, science, and Yoga conferences on the intersection between the spiritual disciplines of Yoga and their evidence-based physiological efficacies. He has written protocols for scientific research on Yoga over the past decade.

While it is true that he met David Bowie backstage at a Madonna concert, he met me first when I became his little sister, on the day I was born.

@eddiestern on Instagram and @eddiestern on Twitter

You can learn more about Eddie, including his class schedule, on his website.

I hope you enjoy my brother's piece on humming!!

How Humming Can Change Your Life, Balance Your Nervous System and Calm Your Mind.

PATTERNS

On a very fundamental level, our lives are made up of patterns. Some of them are ingrained in our nervous systems, such as the wake-and-sleep cycles, our digestive cycles, and our physiological patterns, e.g., how often we breathe, the speed of our heart rate, and the cycles of work and rest that our internal organs follow.

We also have behavioral patterns: how we respond to stress or praise, and perceive situations occurring in the world and respond or act accordingly.

Our patterns, including our physiological patterns, can be altered. They can be thrown off from a baseline of what we might identify as balance, and they can also be brought back into balance with a little bit of work. If we are tremendously thrown off, it can take work, but it can be done, especially with consistency, support, and resolve.

As you'll see soon, humming is one way to restore ourselves to balance.

❝

Children hum when they are happy and playing. Humming also keeps us company when we are alone. It is also a non-verbal signifier: we can convey a positive or negative, a non-committal, agreeable or non-agreeable feeling through a hum.

SIGHING

Over the past few decades, I’ve been fascinated by the different patterns that make up our respiratory and physiological systems, particularly our breath, the only pattern over which we have conscious control.

Changing our breathing patterns can impact our body functions, emotions, and cognitive abilities.

Take, for example, the sigh: We do that automatically throughout the day so the body can reinflate the tiny air sacs of the lungs that periodically collapse (it’s normal, don’t worry), but we also do it when we are feeling down, or when we need to release some stress.

Therefore, the breath is both an expression of our inner state and something we can use to change our inner state. In the Hatha Yoga Pradipika, by Svātmārāma, and other texts on yoga, the functions of the mind and those which drive the breath are considered the same. Breath and mind, mind and breath, are one and the same.

When you control or modify one, you can control the other. If you lose control of one, you lose control over the other.

BREATHING

We all know this to be true because when we have someone in front of us who is visibly upset, or freaking outβ€”the first thing we tell them to do is breathe, by which we mean, slow down your breath, which has the effect of calming your body.

We learned this from the ancient Yogis, and while this might have seemed obvious to some, what was revelatory was the different practices they shared that heightened the inherent power of breath to lead to deep states of calm, clarity, and expanded awareness.

There is a fabulously complex substance created by our body, primarily in the paranasal sinuses, as well as the empty cavities of the head, just behind your nose, in the cheekbones, and forehead, which helps prepare the body to deal with hardship, called nitric oxide (NO).

It is a mild bronchodilator, which expands the breathing tubes (which can spasm in times of stress). This immunomodulator increases or decreases inflammation levels in the body to fight off disease and is an antifungal, antiviral, and antibacterial.

❝

With humming we can say something without having to use words, and the person we are speaking to will get the idea.

Over the past few decades, the pathogen-fighting properties of nitric oxide have been discovered, as well as its healing capacities.

The nitric oxide created in the nasal cavities is one of our frontlines of defense for incoming pathogens, and we need antivirals, antifungals, and antibacterials present to filter out and kill off harmful invaders like COVID-19 before they can either settle deep into the lung tissue or directly attack the brain through the olfactory nerves.

HUMMING

If periodically increasing nitric oxide is desirable, nature has provided a clear pathway: humming, which has been shown to generate nitric oxide in the nasal cavities by increasing the speed of the airflow in the paranasal sinuses.

Humming is a natural phenomenon that occurs spontaneously in human beings.

We hum when we are thinking, happy, taste something delicious, or agree or disagree as a non-language-based mode of communication. We hum wordless melodies or along with our favorite songs.

Children hum when they are happy and playing. Humming also keeps us company when we are alone. It is also a non-verbal signifier: we can convey a positive or negative, a non-committal, agreeable or non-agreeable feeling through a hum. We can say something without using words by humming, and the person we speak to will get the idea.

Nature is not capricious, so if humans bear an innate capacity for doing something in a particular way, it must exist for a purpose. And not only does humming serve to help us express ourselves; it also has some fantastic health benefits.

PRACTICE

Eddie practices breathing. Original art for How to Live is by Edwina White.

I practice humming as a breathing practice almost every day.

Here’s how you can try it:

  1. Inhale comfortably through your nose, and as you exhale, allow yourself to hum as if you’re feeling satisfied or happy.

  2. Repeat once.

Is your sound high-pitched or low-pitched? If it’s low-pitched, make it a little higher. If you were very high-pitched, lower the tone slightly so you aren’t straining your hum.

Next, we’ll make it a little more subtle and meditative.

  1. Inhale high into the nasal cavity as though you are taking in a scent from across the room, any smell that you love, the first that comes to mind: the scent of a rose, or brownies or bread baking in the oven, or perhaps the salty smell of the sea.

  2. As you breathe high into the nasal cavity, savor the imaginary (or real) smell, so your breath lengthens. When you exhale, keep your awareness near your sense of smell.

  3. Repeat a few times, then move on to combining these two practices.

Here’s the final practice:

  1. Breathe high into the nasal cavity, savoring your breath like your favorite song, and then …

  2. As you exhale, make a humming sound at whatever natural pitch comes out of your nose, and as you make the humming sound, keep your awareness focused near the sense of smell.

  3. Repeat three to five times. When you feel you’ve done enough, sit quietly and observe your state of mind, body, and nervous system.

THE VAGUS NERVE

If you feel slightly calmer or centered after just a few humming breaths, then that’s awesome; you’re doing it right. It works due to a complex interplay of interactions; the sound's vibration is sent through your autonomic nervous system.

They control and oversee all the operations that keep us living, so we don’t have to think about themβ€”breathing is one of the key. The vagal nerve complex, called the vagus nerve, makes up 80% of the parasympathetic nervous system.

This nerve complex is one of the most far-reaching of the nerves that extend from our brains, sending information down to our bodies, and, importantly, receiving signals from our internal organs about the state of our body. Extended exhalations, such as those produced by humming, strengthen the vagal brake, which slows the heartbeat and creates a feeling of calm and internal coherence.

The ability to tune into the signals our body is sending is one of the key purposes of a spiritual, contemplative, or meditative discipline. Still, it’s also a basic function of being human. Many of us have become cut off from what we are feeling in our bodies, and could help get back in touch with those feelingsβ€”slowing down is a very important part of that process.

SLOWING DOWN

The humming practice is a very effective means of slowing ourselves down, including our minds, our breath, our nervous system, and our bodies.

You can try this practice several times throughout the day.

If you do a few rounds after you wake up in the morning, it can help set you up before you start your day; a few rounds at night, and it can help wind you down before you go to sleep.

There are no contraindications for it.

Just stop if you feel that you are getting tired or strained. Usually, five to ten rounds are enough, but you can do up to 27.

This practice drives dogs nuts for some reason, but cats don’t seem to mind it.

Go figure.

Busy, my dog

Until next week, I will remain…

Amanda

❝

Today in psychological history: On January 15, 1957

Corbett Thigpen and Herrey Cleckley's book Three Faces of Eve was published. This story of multiple personality is frequently cited in introductory texts and was made into a motion picture with the same name.Β 

P.S. Thank you for reading! This newsletter is my passion and livelihood; it thrives because of readers like you. If you've found solace, wisdom or insight here, please consider upgrading, and if you think a friend or family member could benefit, please feel free to share. Every bit helps, and I’m deeply grateful for your support. πŸ’™

Quick note: Nope, I’m not a therapistβ€”just someone who spent 25 years with undiagnosed panic disorder and 23 years in therapy. How to Live distills what I’ve learned through lived experience, therapy, and obsessive researchβ€”so you can skip the unnecessary suffering and better understand yourself.

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