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This Forgotten 67-Year-Old Technique Reveals Your Blind Spots
I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.
In 1955, two American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, were working at UCLA's Western Training Laboratory in Group Development (now defunct and I’m unable to find any meaningful information) when they decided to develop a model to address a problem they'd observed in group settings.
People were consistently misjudging how others perceived them. Some believed they were coming across as confident when the group experienced them as defensive. Other people thought they successfully concealed their anxiety when it was obvious to everyone else they hadn’t. (I’m taking this one personally 🤣)
Luft and Ingham saw how these discrepancies between self-perception and others' perceptions was actively undermining group functioning. Their challenge wasn't just making people aware they had blind spots, it was creating a practical method that could reveal these misalignments without triggering the defensiveness that leads people to reject accurate feedback about themselves.
The model they created, later called The Johari Window (a combination of their first names) divided interpersonal awareness into four quadrants: what's known to both self and others (open), what others see but the person doesn't (blind), what the person hides (hidden), and what remains unknown to everyone (unknown).
The Template:
They developed a list of 55 adjectives from which a user chooses five or six to describe themselves and others. The goal was to expand the open area through feedback and disclosure, making hidden patterns visible in a structured way that groups could actually use.

They believed with the proper framework that they could help people be more effective at work and more authentic in life.

Anyone can perform the exercise one-on-one or with a group.
Here’s how it works:
From the list of the 55 adjectives, the subject chooses 5 or 6 adjectives to describe themselves.
The other members also choose 5 or 6 adjectives from the list to describe the subject’s personality.
Everyone writes down their chosen words on their piece of paper.
When everyone is done, the friends share the words they chose.
If any adjective you chose to describe yourself overlaps with anyone else, those words all go into the box marked OPEN.
The words you chose that your friends didn’t go into the BLIND box. You can share during the process if you feel like it.
The words that your friends chose that you did not go into the HIDDEN box.
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All the rest of the words from the list are UNKNOWN to you. Of course, they are within you somewhere; they just haven’t come out and made themselves known.
Once everything has been plotted, you can begin to ask each other questions about the adjectives, choose to disclose anything about yourself that you want, and if you do, it gets moved into the OPEN arena.
The more you talk and reveal about yourself, the more you become known, and the goal is to expand the OPEN quadrant for every person. This is the space where good communication takes place.
There is no inherent subject limitation. Gangs fighting, friends talking, executives leading, lovers loving–any of these interactions can be viewed and conceptualized within the model’s framework. In this sense, it is universally applicable
THE QUADRANTS, PANE BY PANE...
The first window is OPEN AREA: This quadrant reflects what you know about yourself and what others know about you. It represents the self you put forward: how you behave, act, live, and what you openly believe. This box is the open book part of us, perhaps even the TMI (too much information) of us. This is the box we operate in when we are among other people. This box is all about how we come across to others.
The four quadrants represent the total person in relation to other people. The basis for the division of the quadrants is awareness of behavior, feelings, and motivation. Sometimes awareness is shared, sometimes not. An act, a feeling, or a motive is assigned to a particular quadrant based on who knows about it. As awareness changes, the quadrant to which the psychological state is assigned changes.
The second window is the BLIND ARENA: These are traits known to others but not to you. This might reflect personal habits, how you show up (or don’t) for others, idiosyncrasies, talents, strengths that you can’t see, and social quirks. This quadrant can shrink, and adjectives can move from this box into OPEN (which is the goal) by soliciting feedback from others.
This quadrant is used to figure out what other people think of you, so you can grow and mature if you’re open to hearing it. This can help you become more well-rounded about how you come across. Perhaps you’re great at following through and didn’t know that before. Or, perhaps you’ll learn from others during this exercise that you have an off-putting edge.
The third window is HIDDEN: This represents what we hide from others. Here, the information is known to you but not to others. Perhaps it’s too personal, or you’re not ready to share. This box includes secrets, past experiences, feelings, core beliefs, controversial values, ambitions, dreams, and opinions. Once the subject feels safe and trusts the other members, they might decide to reveal some of this hidden information, which would then move it to the OPEN arena.
The fourth window is UNKNOWN: This box reflects what is unknown to you and others. This area has the most potential for growth and self-discovery. The arena represents behavioral patterns from childhood, repressed or subconscious feelings, desires, and ambitions long buried, which now live below the depths.
THE IDEAL JOHARI WINDOW LOOKS LIKE THIS:
The purpose of the Johari Window is to reflect on what you know about yourself in a thoughtful way. It will teach you how you communicate with others and how you talk to yourself. Pay attention to the BLIND window and ask whether you resist showing aspects of yourself to others and why that might be.
Use the Johari Window to ask for constructive feedback if you want to grow.
Many people constantly ask themselves who they are, what they have to offer others, and where they fall short, yet, we don’t often get the opportunity to have others weigh in. This is the time.
The Johari Window will ask deep questions like, “How do I let people know who I am?” and, “How do I find out who other people are?” If you’re willing and open, it might lead you to the answers.
It’s also a very effective tool for understanding your conscious and unconscious biases, which we all have.
But we don’t need to do the Johari Window exercise to derive its value. We can use the questions it’s asking in every situation.
You can increase your self-awareness and self-perception by constantly and consistently asking yourself these questions:
What do I know?
What do I not know?
What do other people know?
How do I find out what I don’t know?
We often believe we have the complete picture based on partial information. When a friend tells us about their breakup, we accept it at face value without remembering there is more we don’t know because there is more our friend doesn’t know.
There is always another point of view, another angle, unrevealed information and hidden details. When our loved ones confide in us, we believe them—as we should. At the same time, it would serve us well to remember that everyone has blind spots.
To know more, always ask what more you don’t know.
Until next week, I remain...

Amanda
P.S. Thank you for reading! This newsletter is my passion and livelihood; it thrives because of readers like you. If you've found solace, wisdom or insight here, please consider upgrading, and if you think a friend or family member could benefit, please feel free to share. Every bit helps, and I’m deeply grateful for your support. 💙
Quick note: Nope, I’m not a therapist—just someone who spent 25 years with undiagnosed panic disorder and 23 years in therapy. How to Live distills what I’ve learned through lived experience, therapy, and obsessive research—so you can skip the unnecessary suffering and better understand yourself.
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